June 14, 1940.
Paris, France.
"What are you waiting for? Come on!" Whispered Pierre as his voice echoed in the long empty halls of the museum.
"I think we're being followed," replied Alphonse while looking over his shoulder.
"No, you're just being paranoid. Come on let's get going!" said Pierre.
As both walked at the tip of their toes to the room where the Monalisa was exhibited, they heard some footsteps and someone shouting in German in the distance. They quickly realized they were the Nazi infantry raiding the Louvre and hurried inside the room. There was the larger-than-life painting of the Last Supper hanged on the big wall right next to the entrance of the Monalisa room, and an old person right in the opposite direction trying to take off the Monalisa off its place.
Alphonse stayed by the door and watched over for the Nazi soldiers, and Pierre said in a low voice to the thief, "Psst! Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
The old guy carried on with removing the Monalisa off its place and finally turned to the 2 young men and said, "They're coming. Come, quickly, hide in here" and he opened a hidden door on the floor wherein Pierre and Alphonse jumped along with the Monalisa.
The old guy shut the door and placed a rug over it as to hide it and then pretended he was cleaning the place with a broomstick. And then he waited for the Nazis to storm the room and arrest. Alphonse and Pierre could hear the old guy saying his last prayers. And just before he finished, a Nazi Wehrmacht soldier entered the room and started shouting in German.
The guy not knowing what to do, went on his knees and took his hands up and said, "Please don't shoot! I'm unarmed!"
The place was quickly swarming with Nazis, and they surrounded him pointing their MP40s in his direction. The Hauptmann of that squad started speaking in broken French, "Bonjour Monsieur ! How are you in this beautiful day? France is finally liberated!"
No answer from the old man.
"Would you like have a smoke?" While flashing a pack of cigarettes.
“No thank you,” replied the old man.
The Hauptmann lit a cigarette and took his first pull, “Okay, so do you happen to have seen 2 young gentlemen passing by by any chance?"
"I'm just an old guy who works here. I was here cleaning the room and admiring the last supper for one last time," he said with a shake in his voice.
The Hauptmann looked around and said, "Well, you've done a pretty bad job. It doesn't look quite clean to me." He puffed, "It must be those joints, right?" With an awkward chuckle. "You haven't answered my question, Monsieur...?"
"Jean-Jaques. My name is Jean-Jaques".
"Right, Mr Jean-Jaques. I'm Hanz by the way. have you seen 2 boys passing by?" said with a smile, "and for the sake of sounding redundant, please answer my questions briefly directly, and wisely".
"I told you- I was just cleaning the room and-" the Hauptmann nodded to one of his squad members, and the back of his weapon found its way to the poor old man's rear head.
"You're not cooperating are you?" said Hanz calmly. "You can't just be here cleaning the room, now, can you? Paris is turned upside down and you're here cleaning. Do I look like a Jew to you?" and started laughing viciously. He grabs his pistol out off its hose and cocks it then points it to the Frenchman's head with a glare, "Let me paraphrase my question, and maybe for the last time, where is the Monalisa?"
Pierre and Alphonse underneath them held their breath and clinged to the Monalisa with whatever they got left in their might.
Jean-Jaques started whispering his prayers as he closed his eyes and waited for a bullet to pierce his skull. 5 seconds of utter silence went by and no one had moved an iota and then suddenly, all of the soldiers stomped their boots to the ground and they shouted in harmony, "Heil!" the Hauptmann included. Their voices echoed through the empty halls of the Louvre.
Jean-Jaques opened his eyes and it was Adolf Hitler himself with his hands behind his back, and his blue dreamy eyes suspiciously scanning the environment. He was followed by Goebbels to his right right and Himmler to his left. And right before the Führer says anything, Goebbels inquired what all the fuss was about and Hanz explained that he thinks “the old man is hiding the Monalisa somewhere in cooperation with 2 other rascals they've been chasing earlier today”.
The Führer proceeded to admire the magnificent Last Supper, and then he called Goebbels to discuss some art. “Okay, hold on. We will talk about it later,” he said to Hanz before joining the Fuhrer.
Lest they'd be intrusive, all of the officers and soldiers in the room decided to just be silent and not say a word in the presence of Hitler. Jean-Jaques examined how the Fuhrer was looking at the great painting that covered the entire wall with a flair of drama in his eyes.
He then started speaking in German to Goebbels and they both started laughing.
For 10 minutes, everyone was silent as the Fuhrer finished his tour of the room. He stopped by every painting, gently caressing their canvasses and carefully closing his distance to contemplate the fine details of the drawings.
Jean-Jaques was quickly forgotten and all eyes were on the Führer now admiring his new collection. He asked some soldiers to start taking off some of the paintings on the wall and that's when he finally made it to the Monalisa.
He turned to the old man on his knees and said something in German.
"The Fuhrer is asking you, 'Where is the Monalisa?'" said the Hauptmann.
"I don't know," answered Jacques. "It was already gone when I got here".
The Hauptmann punched him in the face, "IT'S THE FÜHRER YOU'RE SPEAKING TO! WHERE IS THE MONALISA?"
Jean-Jaques gathered what he he had left of strength; blood was all over his beard and broken nose. He then spit a broken tooth, and said, "I said I don’t know. I really don’t. I am sorry". And he closed his eyes expecting the next punch to land on his cheeks.
The Nazi soldier took a half step back to gather momentum for the next punch when the Führer interrupted him and said, “Halt!”
Hitler approached the poor man now on his knees and gasping for dear life and offered him a cigarette. This time Jacques accepted the offer and took his first puff. And then he said, “You know? Cigarettes were what killed my father. Not the first world War, not the plague, not the Great Depression, but the cancer from these little things. This is why I never smoked one in my life”.
“I am sure he is resting in peace now,” said Hitler after switching to French.
"You speak French, huh? Impressive" said Jacques.
“I would also assume that he was a beautifully-looking Aryan like yourself. Too shame France did not join the Axis. We would have created the most superior race in the history of mankind!” said with passion. And then he laughed mockingly, Goebbels and Himmler behind him chuckled lightly.
“Yeah, speaking of that. You know, I read history… A lot of history. I find that shit fascinating,” and he inhaled some smoke and then coughed and puffed it out. “Here is a fact I don’t know whether you know it or not: There is no such thing as pure Aryan. Everyone is carrying a gene from every far and wide in the globe, including yourself. You’re not Aryan, judging by your black hair and… daresay, your poor body proportions”.
Hitler, amazed at what he said, flinched twice and then said, “Come again?” and then started laughing hysterically.
Jean-Jacques laughed along and said, “Yeah, it’s true, it’s true. Even your skin is not purely white. I can see a tinge of darkness in it. You could actually be carrying that nigger gene, or better yet… the Jewish one”.
At this point, the entire room was quickly filled with men laughing hysterically at what the poor French cleaner was saying to the great leader of the Third Reich. Soldiers standing outside of the Louvre guarding the door heard the laughter and wondered what was happening.
After this, Hitler said, “Well, then you must be a Jew and a black person at the same time!” and the laughters got even louder.
Jacques puffed some smoke and jokingly said, “Ja, Jawohl, mein Führer!”
After laughing himself to tears, Hitler approached the old man and slowly bent over to kiss him, “Beautiful. Beautiful. Can you believe this guy?” and he kissed him on the cheek and then wiped the tears coming out of his eyes.
And then he walked back to Himmler and mumbled something in his ears and took something from him, all the while looking back at Jacques and telling him it was beautiful. And then, suddenly, Hitler turns back and points a gun to Jacques’ head and squeezes the trigger so many times until the only sound that could be heard were the empty clicks of the gun.
Pierre and Alphone underneath realized they are going to be next.
“I haven’t killed anybody” while changing the clip, “since 1922,” and then he handed the pistol back to Himmler and said, “Bring down the paintings I pointed out. And will somebody find me the Monalisa? Lets move on to the next room”.
The soldiers all shouted, “Jawohl!” as they quickly got to work. Hitler left the room and after approximately an hour or so, all the paintings were brought down, and soon after, the soldiers found their way out, and there was one last German soldier left in the room. He contemplated the dead body of the old Frenchman and saw a chain around his neck. He took it off and it was David’s star. He put it in his bag and was exiting the room when Pierre sneezed from underneath.
The German soldier grabbed his MP40 when he heard the sneeze and looked back trying to figure out where the sneeze came from. He stood over the rug and took if off. He saw the grip with which he could open the small hideout underground. He grabbed it with his hand and then pulled it up to reveal Pierre and Alphonse covered with Jacques’ blood and all in sweat and fear.
The German soldier looked at them both and then looked at the Monalisa and a few moments of silence ensued where no one knew what was going to happen next. They just kept staring at each other’s weary faces in silence. The German soldier was called by his private, so he turned back and shouted, “I’m coming!” and slowly closed the door and placed the rug over it. He then ran outside where someone asked him what took him so long and he just brushed it off by saying something insignificant. He then closed the room and made his way to where he was needed.
And that's how the Monalisa survived until this day.
Paris, France.
"What are you waiting for? Come on!" Whispered Pierre as his voice echoed in the long empty halls of the museum.
"I think we're being followed," replied Alphonse while looking over his shoulder.
"No, you're just being paranoid. Come on let's get going!" said Pierre.
As both walked at the tip of their toes to the room where the Monalisa was exhibited, they heard some footsteps and someone shouting in German in the distance. They quickly realized they were the Nazi infantry raiding the Louvre and hurried inside the room. There was the larger-than-life painting of the Last Supper hanged on the big wall right next to the entrance of the Monalisa room, and an old person right in the opposite direction trying to take off the Monalisa off its place.
Alphonse stayed by the door and watched over for the Nazi soldiers, and Pierre said in a low voice to the thief, "Psst! Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
The old guy carried on with removing the Monalisa off its place and finally turned to the 2 young men and said, "They're coming. Come, quickly, hide in here" and he opened a hidden door on the floor wherein Pierre and Alphonse jumped along with the Monalisa.
The old guy shut the door and placed a rug over it as to hide it and then pretended he was cleaning the place with a broomstick. And then he waited for the Nazis to storm the room and arrest. Alphonse and Pierre could hear the old guy saying his last prayers. And just before he finished, a Nazi Wehrmacht soldier entered the room and started shouting in German.
The guy not knowing what to do, went on his knees and took his hands up and said, "Please don't shoot! I'm unarmed!"
The place was quickly swarming with Nazis, and they surrounded him pointing their MP40s in his direction. The Hauptmann of that squad started speaking in broken French, "Bonjour Monsieur ! How are you in this beautiful day? France is finally liberated!"
No answer from the old man.
"Would you like have a smoke?" While flashing a pack of cigarettes.
“No thank you,” replied the old man.
The Hauptmann lit a cigarette and took his first pull, “Okay, so do you happen to have seen 2 young gentlemen passing by by any chance?"
"I'm just an old guy who works here. I was here cleaning the room and admiring the last supper for one last time," he said with a shake in his voice.
The Hauptmann looked around and said, "Well, you've done a pretty bad job. It doesn't look quite clean to me." He puffed, "It must be those joints, right?" With an awkward chuckle. "You haven't answered my question, Monsieur...?"
"Jean-Jaques. My name is Jean-Jaques".
"Right, Mr Jean-Jaques. I'm Hanz by the way. have you seen 2 boys passing by?" said with a smile, "and for the sake of sounding redundant, please answer my questions briefly directly, and wisely".
"I told you- I was just cleaning the room and-" the Hauptmann nodded to one of his squad members, and the back of his weapon found its way to the poor old man's rear head.
"You're not cooperating are you?" said Hanz calmly. "You can't just be here cleaning the room, now, can you? Paris is turned upside down and you're here cleaning. Do I look like a Jew to you?" and started laughing viciously. He grabs his pistol out off its hose and cocks it then points it to the Frenchman's head with a glare, "Let me paraphrase my question, and maybe for the last time, where is the Monalisa?"
Pierre and Alphonse underneath them held their breath and clinged to the Monalisa with whatever they got left in their might.
Jean-Jaques started whispering his prayers as he closed his eyes and waited for a bullet to pierce his skull. 5 seconds of utter silence went by and no one had moved an iota and then suddenly, all of the soldiers stomped their boots to the ground and they shouted in harmony, "Heil!" the Hauptmann included. Their voices echoed through the empty halls of the Louvre.
Jean-Jaques opened his eyes and it was Adolf Hitler himself with his hands behind his back, and his blue dreamy eyes suspiciously scanning the environment. He was followed by Goebbels to his right right and Himmler to his left. And right before the Führer says anything, Goebbels inquired what all the fuss was about and Hanz explained that he thinks “the old man is hiding the Monalisa somewhere in cooperation with 2 other rascals they've been chasing earlier today”.
The Führer proceeded to admire the magnificent Last Supper, and then he called Goebbels to discuss some art. “Okay, hold on. We will talk about it later,” he said to Hanz before joining the Fuhrer.
Lest they'd be intrusive, all of the officers and soldiers in the room decided to just be silent and not say a word in the presence of Hitler. Jean-Jaques examined how the Fuhrer was looking at the great painting that covered the entire wall with a flair of drama in his eyes.
He then started speaking in German to Goebbels and they both started laughing.
For 10 minutes, everyone was silent as the Fuhrer finished his tour of the room. He stopped by every painting, gently caressing their canvasses and carefully closing his distance to contemplate the fine details of the drawings.
Jean-Jaques was quickly forgotten and all eyes were on the Führer now admiring his new collection. He asked some soldiers to start taking off some of the paintings on the wall and that's when he finally made it to the Monalisa.
He turned to the old man on his knees and said something in German.
"The Fuhrer is asking you, 'Where is the Monalisa?'" said the Hauptmann.
"I don't know," answered Jacques. "It was already gone when I got here".
The Hauptmann punched him in the face, "IT'S THE FÜHRER YOU'RE SPEAKING TO! WHERE IS THE MONALISA?"
Jean-Jaques gathered what he he had left of strength; blood was all over his beard and broken nose. He then spit a broken tooth, and said, "I said I don’t know. I really don’t. I am sorry". And he closed his eyes expecting the next punch to land on his cheeks.
The Nazi soldier took a half step back to gather momentum for the next punch when the Führer interrupted him and said, “Halt!”
Hitler approached the poor man now on his knees and gasping for dear life and offered him a cigarette. This time Jacques accepted the offer and took his first puff. And then he said, “You know? Cigarettes were what killed my father. Not the first world War, not the plague, not the Great Depression, but the cancer from these little things. This is why I never smoked one in my life”.
“I am sure he is resting in peace now,” said Hitler after switching to French.
"You speak French, huh? Impressive" said Jacques.
“I would also assume that he was a beautifully-looking Aryan like yourself. Too shame France did not join the Axis. We would have created the most superior race in the history of mankind!” said with passion. And then he laughed mockingly, Goebbels and Himmler behind him chuckled lightly.
“Yeah, speaking of that. You know, I read history… A lot of history. I find that shit fascinating,” and he inhaled some smoke and then coughed and puffed it out. “Here is a fact I don’t know whether you know it or not: There is no such thing as pure Aryan. Everyone is carrying a gene from every far and wide in the globe, including yourself. You’re not Aryan, judging by your black hair and… daresay, your poor body proportions”.
Hitler, amazed at what he said, flinched twice and then said, “Come again?” and then started laughing hysterically.
Jean-Jacques laughed along and said, “Yeah, it’s true, it’s true. Even your skin is not purely white. I can see a tinge of darkness in it. You could actually be carrying that nigger gene, or better yet… the Jewish one”.
At this point, the entire room was quickly filled with men laughing hysterically at what the poor French cleaner was saying to the great leader of the Third Reich. Soldiers standing outside of the Louvre guarding the door heard the laughter and wondered what was happening.
After this, Hitler said, “Well, then you must be a Jew and a black person at the same time!” and the laughters got even louder.
Jacques puffed some smoke and jokingly said, “Ja, Jawohl, mein Führer!”
After laughing himself to tears, Hitler approached the old man and slowly bent over to kiss him, “Beautiful. Beautiful. Can you believe this guy?” and he kissed him on the cheek and then wiped the tears coming out of his eyes.
And then he walked back to Himmler and mumbled something in his ears and took something from him, all the while looking back at Jacques and telling him it was beautiful. And then, suddenly, Hitler turns back and points a gun to Jacques’ head and squeezes the trigger so many times until the only sound that could be heard were the empty clicks of the gun.
Pierre and Alphone underneath realized they are going to be next.
“I haven’t killed anybody” while changing the clip, “since 1922,” and then he handed the pistol back to Himmler and said, “Bring down the paintings I pointed out. And will somebody find me the Monalisa? Lets move on to the next room”.
The soldiers all shouted, “Jawohl!” as they quickly got to work. Hitler left the room and after approximately an hour or so, all the paintings were brought down, and soon after, the soldiers found their way out, and there was one last German soldier left in the room. He contemplated the dead body of the old Frenchman and saw a chain around his neck. He took it off and it was David’s star. He put it in his bag and was exiting the room when Pierre sneezed from underneath.
The German soldier grabbed his MP40 when he heard the sneeze and looked back trying to figure out where the sneeze came from. He stood over the rug and took if off. He saw the grip with which he could open the small hideout underground. He grabbed it with his hand and then pulled it up to reveal Pierre and Alphonse covered with Jacques’ blood and all in sweat and fear.
The German soldier looked at them both and then looked at the Monalisa and a few moments of silence ensued where no one knew what was going to happen next. They just kept staring at each other’s weary faces in silence. The German soldier was called by his private, so he turned back and shouted, “I’m coming!” and slowly closed the door and placed the rug over it. He then ran outside where someone asked him what took him so long and he just brushed it off by saying something insignificant. He then closed the room and made his way to where he was needed.
And that's how the Monalisa survived until this day.
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